Unchosen - and her lack of choice in perspective

In her introduction Hella Winston attempts to soften the blow with which her future chapters might hit the Hasidic reader, with her long narrative in which she purports to admire the lifestyle and those that are content to live within its guidelines. And she claims rather explicitly that from what she had seen many are indeed content, but that she simply felt that the story of those breaking away needed a voice. What she didn’t tell us but we could clearly hear was her disdain for religious belief in general, and our observances in particular. Each time she mentions prohibitions, traditions or simple-minded faith, her stifled giggles are deafening.

And who could blame her?

As a person raised on very different ideals, what she saw in our community does indeed seem like extreme fanaticism. According to her logic then, anyone of a higher intellect would come to their senses and see the insanity behind religion as a whole, and this oppressed tradition in particular. Thus attempting this desperate measure to break away.

Throughout her book, each example she brought was, by her own admission, a compilation of characters she met. Yet invariably she attempted to paint them all as Hasidim with a thirst for knowledge which could not be quenched within the community.

While the truth remains that a great percentage of those who broke away did so due to either physical / emotional / sexual abuse or because of their homosexuality. Not that I am condemning or condoning their form of expressing their discontent with the way the community handled / handles their troubles, I am only pointing out that the aforementioned aren’t necessarily looking for an alternate lifestyle due to their intellectual pursuits being thwarted, or because they are truly being oppressed by the community as a whole.

It is even true there are indeed seekers amongst them – but these aren’t necessarily seekers of truth, more like seekers of adventure. Which in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Even though no amount of adventure or entertainment our community would offer (not that it does – but even if it did) could satiate these particular seekers. Because this thirst for adventure is not one that any particular lifestyle can quench as it inevitably is precisely about exploring many different ways of life. The part that is bad and truly sad, is that our community has not yet learnt how to cope with those that have chosen to behave in a manner that does not coincide with what they believe to be right.

I do want to point out that there are indeed those who are highly intelligent and questioning. Yet while they will readily admit that they could probably find the answers in the books they have studied and learnt so well, they don’t want to. They want out. The reason has little to do with the lack of answers in the Scriptures, and a lot more to do with their discontent with their personal lives. Be it their family: parents, siblings, spouses, and even difficult children or whether the stress is financial. Disgruntlement leads to restlessness, and ultimately resentment.

Every community has its faults. And ours is far from an exception. But her description of the oppression and abuse was faulty (while unfortunately not entirely wrong), and her bias tainted her perception of real life in this community.

I could go on and on… And I probably will.