Monday, December 29, 2008

Our Parents' Mistake

The explanation you won’t listen to.
In place of the apology I won’t give.
And because I had to have my say.

- - -

It’s been said that children follow in the footsteps that their parents thought they’d long covered up.

I’ve watched some kids embrace that mentality with abandon:
‘Let our parents preach to us about what not to do,
and let us anyway live it up – as we know they did too.
(And by the time our kids grow we’ll tell them what not to
– and yet sure enough they will do what they wish to do.)’

Talk about repeating your parents’ mistakes!

Where’s the parenting? Isn’t life about learning our lessons, and passing those worthwhile insights onto our youth? Don’t we wish for a better life for our children?

Certainly we can live life with no thought of tomorrow, and then switch sides when we see the folly of our ways. Or when we decide that we do wish for more for our kids. But in truth what message are we sending?

There is always the alternative. Having a life infused with love, and just the right amount of fun and spirituality. A life that you can reasonably expect your kids to emulate. Because really, what is it with all the preaching, and what is the value of our life’s experience – if we can’t pass it on to our children and teach by example.

And then there is the added bliss of being able to compliment our kids, take pride in the success and share in their fun as we watch them live life to the fullest.

- - -

And just an observation. You and I – we live the same lives.
I just live it openly and in spite of the community’s say, I believe that what I do is right. And I teach that to my kids too. ‘It’s not how others judge – but what you know to be right.’

You’re living the same life. You just hide it from your kids, from your family, from the community – because you believe somehow that you’re being a rebel.

Which is fine, except that such behavior practically encourages rebellion in your kids. Or at least sets them up for it.

16 Comments:

At December 29, 2008 11:38 PM, Blogger Shtreimel said...

Welcome back!

Way over my little head - this one. :)

 
At December 30, 2008 3:09 PM, Blogger SemGirl said...

Nice to see you posting after such a long break..

Reminds me of the old story. In shul the father always talks a lot, and tells his son, davern, davern. The son grows and talks by daverning and tells his son, 'davern, davern' .

 
At December 30, 2008 3:59 PM, Blogger Pinny said...

TC

Oh come on, your transparency is so apparent, the bluffing through your teeth is so obvious - once again. Can you answer me honestly and not duck the question, at night, when you close that bedroom door, take out that laptop and surf to Desperate Housewives or That 70's show, would you give your daughter a treat one night to sit on your bed and watch the show with you, together? You are living the double life just like the rest of us sweety. For some reason you feel good pleasing your consciousness and enjoy living in some state of denial.

 
At December 30, 2008 4:05 PM, Blogger Totally Content said...

The laptop isn't in the bedroom. It's in the mainroom. But I don't watch Desperate Housewives - sorry, but it's just too contrived and stupid.

But whatever I do watch, or read, or do - is yes, done in the family room.

Do what is right, and encourage your kids to do that too.

 
At December 30, 2008 4:46 PM, Blogger Pinny said...

And how do you make sure your kids don't repeat in school what the saw at home? I guess you have to warn them not to tell a soul, otherwise they will be sent home with the next bus, isn't that a contradiction to your beautiful philosophy and sends the wrong signal to your children?

 
At December 30, 2008 4:51 PM, Blogger Totally Content said...

That would indeed be contradictory to the entire philosophy, which is why my kids have never heard me say anything of the sort.

I honestly don't know what they say, but so far they are enjoying school as much as ever.

Growing up with the same philosophy (as did much of my friends) we knew which one of us watched movies or whatever. While we freely discussed it amongst ourselves, I believe we used our discretion when hanging out with those living a purer lifestyle.

Each to their own. I just never considered myself a rebel, because I'm not. And I pray never to raise kids to believe that they are.

 
At December 30, 2008 6:13 PM, Blogger Product said...

Easy to say
When things go your way
“I’m not astray
Only honesty I display”

Were it not all set
When your choices met
With disapproval and regret
Rebellion is all you get

 
At January 16, 2009 11:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep posting, you are a voice in the wilderness, and don’t apologize for protecting your kids from filth. It takes its toll on all of us. I wish I would be more ignorant.

One of your neighbors

Harry

 
At April 21, 2009 8:44 AM, Anonymous lars said...

halua

 
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At March 05, 2010 9:49 AM, Anonymous moshe said...

r u still so totally content?, if u continue to mingle and flirt with the unpious crowd, u wont soon.
maybe thats the way u want it now.

 
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At April 03, 2010 2:09 AM, Blogger Nancy said...

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At April 09, 2010 12:50 AM, Blogger 楊偉誠 said...

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