UPS and the realization they delivered.

Esti is a dear friend of mine. She’s intelligent, talented and loyal to a fault. My conversations with her inevitably tend to turn into arguments. Not because we don’t respect each others opinions, but probably because we do.

Unlike me, she is technically ‘supporting’ her husband while he ‘learns’. While I admire a serious learner as much as the next guy, I don’t believe that any husband has the right to do it at his wife’s expense. Apparently my opinion wasn’t called for, and she successfully manages to earn what little bit she needs, being that she is so easily satisfied with the barest minimum. At the same time too, she is raising a family that is קע"ה growing at a remarkable rate. She is an amazingly calm mother, and her kids are some of the most adorable and lovable impish little rascals you’ll ever meet. But it has come to a point where I am literally begging her to go on birth control. Ironically, she is not theoretically against it – she just truly wants to have that large family – like the one she grew up in. I'm afraid that she will get there.

Working at home requires her to have a PC of course, yet amazingly she makes do without the internet. She’s dead set against it – and truthfully, knowing the ’net as well as I do – I can’t find it in my heart to encourage her to get it. But I read to her from my blog, and occasionally from others. They make for good kindle for some heated debates. She tends to have the quirkiest observations about life – and it is fun to hear her angle on things.

The other day we were once again discussing something, that seemed mighty important at the time, but it couldn’t have been that noteworthy – as I can’t seem to recall what it was about. Regardless of what it was, she suddenly commented with something that appears to be quite trivial – but it made me think. I sorta like it when that happens.

With the type of work she does, she tends to have deliveries coming and going from her home regularly. The other day she read an article about the majority her packages’ most frequent carrier – UPS. It mentioned that apparently their logo had a makeover some time ago, and most of the UPS trucks have had the newer version printed on their sides. But not all of them. The two versions are similar – and if one is unaware of the change, it is quite easy to miss. Esti tells me that she has these deliveries on a regular basis and never bothered looking at the little gold logo on the side of the truck, let alone noticing if there was anything new about it. But now that it was brought to her attention, it has become quite impossible for her not to notice each truck that goes by – and immediately take note of which logo it has emblazoned on its side.

There are things in life that we have accepted as the norm. Be it in matters of community issues, traditions, or of course – faith. They just pass us by, we take it for granted that it belongs to be done the way that it’s done - we don’t even notice. And then someone shines a flashlight in that direction.

First there is the discomfort of the glaring light. And then comes the uneasiness with the new world that was exposed.

There are many that believe they have come up with answers, just because it satisfies them on an intellectual level. All the while it leaves them feeling emotionally cast asea, and spiritually stripped bare. But they find it easier to go through life, believing that they understand.

The beauty of our world is in a large sense, the mystery behind it. There is no way we CAN understand it all, although there are many ways we can attempt to. Faith works for me. Simplistic faith. Faith isn't 'knowing' - but rather 'believing'. Where's the fun in certainty? Where is the adventure?

If ignorance is bliss – who is to say that ignorance is all that bad? I say – let’s embrace it. Let’s celebrate it. That innocent and simplistic straightforward faith that gives us contentment in our day to day lives - - while never diminishing the awe.

Original Sin

As most of you are aware of by now, after a two year hiatus the original Hasidic Rebel is back.

Having been a major detractor of his work for some time, I find myself wondering why it is that his return doesn’t irk me. Is it because he seems to have returned less bent on rebellion? Or might it be due to the fact that he threw some kind words my way? –after all, it is said that bribery blinds. But perhaps it is nostalgia – the way retrospective viewing somehow makes it all appear sweeter.

I spent a good part of these past few days rereading all of the old posts – especially the comments. Those of you who read his blog religiously on that summer of ’03 probably recall my valiant efforts to defend our lifestyle. Chalk it up to nostalgia once more, but I am audacious enough to believe I was good back then.

Here’s wishing that my future ideas are as well formulated and as successfully related. Having stumbled upon writers’ block in spite of the many ideas I’ve got brewing, I couldn’t be hoping more sincerely.

Education vs. Education

All these repetitious comments about how the community is ‘robbing’ us of an education – is, quite frankly, getting on my nerves. These ‘commenters’ make it appear as if EVERYONE in this community is lacking an education, and subsequently goes around illiterate, and with no intelligent thoughts in their heads. Would it be fair to say that of the Chinese? That if they aren't sufficiently well-versed in our culture and in our language, then they are 'uneducated'?

Our children learn a tremendous amount and are certainly taught a LOT! And while it is indeed true that a secular education could benefit many of them as well - MANY are coping amazingly well without it!

I am not condoning the fact that the focus on a secular education is so minimal - I am simply saying that the claim that "Clearly, there are consequences for the preferences of having a 4th grade education." can just as often be wrong - as it can be right.

I do strongly believe that children deserve to have a – if basic, then at least well-rounded – secular education. I believe they ought to be taught a better English, with the grammar, spelling and writing abilities this subject requires. I believe they deserve to know math – at least enough for them to know how to do their own calculation as to how much interest will accumulate on their mortgages, savings accounts and outstanding credit card bills. I believe they deserve to know the basics of science. Basic history of around the world – as well as that of our own country. And yes, it is indeed about time our boys know a bit more about geography. If only the locations of the country they are discussing, and knowing which capital associates with which state. We girls are taught all this – and way more. Our mothers were too. So therefore we all have the ability and duty to educate our children with all that we deem necessary. To suggest that our schools lessen the amount of religious study in favor of secular studies is unrealistic. As it has been said – every community has its priorities. Raising moral and God-fearing Chasidim is ours.

Yet to claim that our community is depriving us of an education, thus preventing us from having success financially is the laziest excuse of no doubt, the laziest of guys.
While it would of course depend on what you consider 'education', for a moment let’s agree that education would be amassing knowledge in the context that might be beneficial to the individual later on in life. In light of what this community values, and the culture in which it rears its young – you would have to agree that the residents in these parts, are for the most part, well learnt.

In addition to the admittedly culturally biased and mostly religious education, I think it would be important to once again note that our community also has many wonderful advanced-learning programs for those that are so inclined. And if I may say so – These programs are far more beneficial to the recipient – than say… Footsteps?

I truly feel sorry for all of you that find that your education - or lack thereof, has hindered you in your adult life. All I can do is recommend once again that you do better for your kids.

And once and for all - quit the complaining.

The Handbook

My cousin is engaged! Yeah, Mazel Tov! She’s excited. The boy is said to be a good hearted boy – on top of being handsome and a learner. I believe that once again – it was up to the parents to get it right, and focus primarily on the character of each of them, as well as the personalities of the two involved – even more than focusing on the ‘status’ of the match. But that’s a topic for another time.

I’ve got some observations to share. It might not compleletly jive with all I’ve said so far – but that shouldn’t negate it all. It’s just another facet of this wonderful gem called Williamsburg.

So there were flowers sent for the Vort. See - Nowadays flowers aren't spontaneous & heartfelt 'expressions' - as in "Say it with Flowers", flowers are obligatory because there is a rule book somewhere that requires that it be sent. So automatically there is a problem. Do you send an additional bouquet the next day? Isn't a Wednesday humongous super-expensive bouquet enough? Doesn't it already express any sentiment that was meant to have been conveyed? Not according to The Handbook. The Handbook has a straightforward segment on "Shabbos Kallah" and if you look lower down it clearly spells out the need for "18 Roses". I don't think the halacha allows for any leniency. At least not in the 1990 edition of The Guidebook. So of course, one needs to consult those that have the updated version.

When a child is born into a Williamsburg family (I think that BP, Monsey and Monroe are part of this clique - but I am not certain), they are handed The Guidebook. In it there are lists of proper code of dress, expressions for every occasion, gifts with coordinating event and timing attached. There are rules for what to wear to to what occasion. What to say in response to a gift. What to give in response to a gift. Precise rules as to when the "Mazel Tov" comes with a kiss, or just a hand-shake, or (if ever required/permitted) a hug. There are also rules about what gifts a kalla gets, and what a choson gets. When to give it, and when not to. When to call. How soon to hang up. What to say, what not to say. What to think. How to think. What to think when others think. What to say that you think about what others thought - or said they thought.

The Guidebook is an amazing tool if you want to blend in.

So Baruch Hashem I was blessed with a mother who burnt that book as soon as we were born. She taught as that there was right and there was wrong - and what the 'public' has deemed as proper protocol has little to do with how we truly ought to behave. It is indeed thanks to her that all of you are so lucky as to have had the opportunity to be introduced to someone as dazzling as me. :) I had always assumed that my aunts had followed my brilliant mom’s example.

But apparently my darling cousin got ahold of that handbook. The 2005-2006 version. And she says that one of the newer rules clearly states that if one faction of the ‘shidduch’ goes according to ‘The Rules’ the other side needs to comply too. Personally, I am of the opinion that she co-authored it. Be that as it may, the entire engagement is now going to have to go according to The Rules.

Wish us luck.

It's MY Blog - isn't it?

I often wish that I could blog the way blogs were intended to be done. But the irony is, that my dear readers are far more judgmental of what I say and how I say it – than anyone in my community could be.

So whenever I decide to post, I need to proofread, critique my own style, and analyze my own thoughts. To think that I used to believe that I can’t inspire myself!

Now on to why I am telling you all this:
Being that we have hit the winter season, I have come down with the flu. Not as surprising – as it is annoying. Mostly for the fact that I don’t have the patience for formulating a point of view decent enough to withstand the onslaught that everything I throw out there is subjected to.

So dear readers, for the time being – (being that I am stuck in bed, and am lucky enough to have this marvelous contraption that so amazingly connects me with the outside world, without the need to so much as get out of bed) – will you be kind enough to let me blog without incessant attack? From one cyber-spacer to another?

So here it goes, I’m having a bad day. I was sick on my birthday – which I personally believe to me completely unfair. The fact that my birthday insists on occurring, year after year, right at the onset of this awful season called Winter – is audaciously unfair. I’ve missed Chanuka parties due to the flu. But that’s a fact of life. It’s the Festival of Lights – as much as it is the Season of Motrin. I’ve made peace with that fact. Sorta.

But to be stuck in bed on my BIRTHDAY?!? Not an easy pill to swallow. Especially since my throat is killing me. One of the worst puns out there. I know. But in light of the way I am feeling – I’m gonna let it pass.

Now dear readers – be nice. Very gently tell me how much I suck.