Know Where You Are Going - So That You Can Get There.

It’s been a while since I last posted, many reasons – none of which would necessarily be considered valid. Not that these excuses require validity, or even that my lack of posting requires excuses.

But basically, being an active mother – my thoughts hit me at the oddest times. While doing dishes, laundry, mopping floors – none of which are really conducive to having the thought fleshed out and written down. Last night while clearing my kitchen I found myself reviewing a conversation I had had earlier in the day.

I hadn’t made myself clear enough then – and felt I needed to try again. While I share it with them, feel free to listen in.

So this post was dedicated to M&M. Here goes…

Many of us feel that our role in life, our position in society, or our identity we were assigned at birth – was unfairly imposed upon us. We want to change it. To be something else. Something better. Something more.

Life is a beautiful journey, and perhaps it is indeed unfair if our final destination is planned for us. For that matter, to simply hop aboard a random train, for the sole purpose of getting away, with no inkling as to what the direction may be – is not only foolhardy, it is dangerous.

My proposal will meet you half way. I have no objection for the mature adult to examine his options, look at his life seriously, and decide where and what he wants to do with it. As a matter of fact, I greatly encourage that. But I do recommend that he first reach a conclusion – and subsequently be who he wants to be.

Get to know yourself. Know your weaknesses, your strengths. Your secret desires, your greatest fears. Climb that hill. Conquer that mountain. So long as you don’t go drifting aimlessly about.

The danger of deciding while already en route – is that suddenly one may wake up and realize that they don’t recognize themselves. They have drifted quite far from who they were – and it is quite likely that they are still unhappy.

My recent observation was followed with intense debate. Mostly the argument seemed to be that I wasn’t quite right in asserting that one can be whoever they want to be. The detracting argument was that in our society one needs to get to whoever they believe themselves to be – slowly. So as not to ripple the waters too badly with a rash and sudden change.

Granted. There is legitimacy to that POV. But that was not my concern. To simply state that this isn’t who I want to be, and therefore I’m stepping away from this – towards something that is more my style, is not really defining or even knowing what that style may be. Rather, I suggest KNOWING who you want to be: An admirable likeable person. Most importantly, admired and liked by yourself. So long as you KNOW who you want to be, hop aboard any train – be it local or express. It’ll get you there.

Deciding in advance where one wants to be, will not preempt growth, but it will inhibit recession. Growth of character can only be achieved while knowing who we are. It’s the not-knowing and the drifting downstream, that weakens our identity. That is when our proud sense of self, is replaced with obnoxious egotism. We think we know who we are, when in fact we aren’t even thinking.

We’re simply riding along, with no thought or care. Getting stuck in the muck is inevitable, and by the time we decide to look out the window to determine our next course of action, we may find that we are hopelessly lost.